Say This, Not That · Free
Specific beats gentle. Both beats neither.
Vague praise and vague criticism have the same problem: nobody knows what to do next. These swaps make feedback specific, kind and actionable.
Work & ProfessionalDifficult ConversationsPolite Communication
Instead of
This isn't really working for me.
Try
“The opening works; the middle section loses the thread for me. Could we cut the second example?”
Why it works
“Isn't working” describes your reaction, not the work. Naming the section and the fix turns it into something someone can act on.
Tone · Precise · Professional
Instead of
Great job!
Try
“The way you handled the client's objection in the second half was excellent.”
Specific praise is repeatable praise.
Why it works
Generic praise feels good for a second. Naming the thing they did tells them what to keep doing.
Tone · Warm
Instead of
You always do this.
Try
“This is the second time the report has arrived after the deadline, what's getting in the way?”
Why it works
“Always” is almost never accurate, and it invites an argument about the word instead of the problem. One concrete instance is harder to dismiss.
Tone · Direct · Softer
Instead of
No offence, but this needs a lot of work.
Try
“There's a strong idea here. It needs another pass on structure before it's ready, want me to mark up where?”
Why it works
“No offence, but” signals the offence is coming. Leading with what's genuinely good, then naming the gap, keeps the person listening.
Tone · Warm
Instead of
Why did you do it like that?
Try
“What led you to this approach? I want to understand the trade-off.”
Why it works
The original sounds like an accusation even when it isn't. Asking for the reasoning gets you the same information without the defensiveness.
Tone · Professional
No account, no credits, just pick the version that reads better.
Which piece of feedback can the writer act on?
Which is the stronger compliment?
Which version avoids starting an argument about wording?
Want help with your own wording?
Better Word helps you find stronger, clearer and more fitting words for what you want to say, free.
Try Better WordThink you can choose the right wording in context?
Real-World Practice drops the same decisions into real situations. Free, no credits.
Try Real-World PracticeDisagree with the idea, not the person.
“I disagree.”
“I see it differently.”
Confidence is specificity, not volume.
“This is probably a stupid question, but…”
“One thing I want to check before we commit:”
Describe your experience, not their character.
“You never listen to me.”
“I don't feel heard when I'm trying to explain something important.”
