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Empathy vs. Sympathy: What's the Difference?
Quick answer
- Empathy is understanding what someone else feels, as if from inside their situation.
- Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone from outside their situation.
The difference
Empathy stands beside the person: you imagine what it is like to be them. Sympathy stands across from them: you are sorry that it is happening. Both are kind, but empathy tends to make people feel understood, while sympathy can quietly keep a distance.
Empathy
- Usually
- noun
- Think
- with you
- Meaning
- The ability to understand and share what another person is feeling.
- Example
- “I understand how overwhelming that must feel.”
Sympathy
- Usually
- noun
- Think
- for you
- Meaning
- Sorrow or concern for someone else's misfortune.
- Example
- “I'm sorry you're going through that.”
When to use empathy
Use empathy when you are describing understanding someone's experience, in relationships, care work, management or design.
- Good managers lead with empathy, not just targets.
- She listened with real empathy instead of rushing to advice.
When to use sympathy
Use sympathy for compassion offered from the outside, condolences, formal messages, situations you have not lived through.
- Please accept our sympathy for your loss.
- He had little sympathy for excuses, but he was fair.
Remember it
Empathy is in it with you. Sympathy is sorry for you.
Everyday speech blurs them, and neither is wrong, but careful writing keeps the difference.
Common mix-up
Incorrect: Please accept my empathy for your loss.
Correct: Please accept my sympathy for your loss.
Condolence is offered from outside the experience, that is sympathy.
The difference in real life
In real life
Empathy: “That sounds exhausting, you've been carrying this for weeks.” Sympathy: “I'm so sorry this happened to you.” The first says I understand; the second says I care.
Free
Think you've got it?
A friend loses a grandparent you never met. You send a card. That is _____.
You've had the same illness, so you know exactly how the fatigue feels. That is _____.
Which fits a job description for a support role?
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